security. safety. the known.
all the things which protect me,
the fig leaves that i wear:
friends, family, reputation, the known
the comfortable.
not bad necessarily, of themselves,
but a sorry excuse for following God.
what has it cost me, to follow this Jesus?
to shed my fig leaves and say yes:
wherever, whatever, whenever?
it has cost me my conditions, set to the side now-
my following cannot be dependent on companionship,
comfort, security, or "my plan A."
it has cost me me financial and personal independence-
no more maverick for me.
each year, humbled, dependent on the generosity of others.
utterly dependent, no safety net, no chance to claim self-sufficiency.
sometimes, what could have been still haunts.
it has cost me my proximity to friends, and family, my comfort, my culture-
1000 miles away from home...
don't let me lie and tell you it's always been easy.
i had good, even great, community,
but God had bigger plans.
it cost me respect from my secular authority, people i wanted to please-
"why are you throwing away your life-
so talented, so smart! you could do anything...
why this?"
if Christ is not risen, then it is utter foolishness:
it's hard to appear a fool.
my life, my plans, my identity, forever to be molded by his hands.
is it painful at times? absolutely.
is it worth it? absolutely.
lay down your life.
take up your cross and follow me.
what is my cross?
compassion and care for the lost,
a dedication to point them to Jesus,
regardless of the personal cost.
my life, identity, plans,
laid entirely in his hands.
my burden: truth, prayer, discernment,
exercised under his authority.
my gifts, my praise, my honor,
offered to him alone.
my life... lost... left alongside the road.
costly, yes.
worth it, yes.
for whosoever loses his life for me,
shall find it.
fuller.
more whole.
deeper, more vivacious, alive.
worth it.
all the things which protect me,
the fig leaves that i wear:
friends, family, reputation, the known
the comfortable.
not bad necessarily, of themselves,
but a sorry excuse for following God.
what has it cost me, to follow this Jesus?
to shed my fig leaves and say yes:
wherever, whatever, whenever?
it has cost me my conditions, set to the side now-
my following cannot be dependent on companionship,
comfort, security, or "my plan A."
it has cost me me financial and personal independence-
no more maverick for me.
each year, humbled, dependent on the generosity of others.
utterly dependent, no safety net, no chance to claim self-sufficiency.
sometimes, what could have been still haunts.
it has cost me my proximity to friends, and family, my comfort, my culture-
1000 miles away from home...
don't let me lie and tell you it's always been easy.
i had good, even great, community,
but God had bigger plans.
it cost me respect from my secular authority, people i wanted to please-
"why are you throwing away your life-
so talented, so smart! you could do anything...
why this?"
if Christ is not risen, then it is utter foolishness:
it's hard to appear a fool.
my life, my plans, my identity, forever to be molded by his hands.
is it painful at times? absolutely.
is it worth it? absolutely.
lay down your life.
take up your cross and follow me.
what is my cross?
compassion and care for the lost,
a dedication to point them to Jesus,
regardless of the personal cost.
my life, identity, plans,
laid entirely in his hands.
my burden: truth, prayer, discernment,
exercised under his authority.
my gifts, my praise, my honor,
offered to him alone.
my life... lost... left alongside the road.
costly, yes.
worth it, yes.
for whosoever loses his life for me,
shall find it.
fuller.
more whole.
deeper, more vivacious, alive.
worth it.
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