Thursday, April 9, 2009

Betrayal

Luke 22: 17- 21 And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, "Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes. In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table.

Tonight, at the Maundy Thursday service, I was struck by this last verse... this idea of betrayal.

I don't know if you've ever felt betrayed. This evening, as I was thinking about it, I could come up with three major times in my x number of years, when I have felt betrayed, turned against by someone close enough to me for it to hurt. And it hurt deeply. I felt wounded for months. Years even. I found it hard to trust the individuals who betrayed me. Hard to even be in the same room, without anger and rage. And, what's worse, their actions made it hard for me to trust others, who were, for all accounts, innocent, except for similar identification factors such as gender, age, position of authority, or proximity of intimacy.

And yet, in these four verses, we see Jesus, sitting at the same table with his betrayers. I use the plural here intentionally. It's not just Judas; the rest run out on him too. He sits at the table with his betrayers. And, tonight, I was picturing the conversation:

"Hey, Judas, would you pass the bread this way?" (The loaf I will use to represent my body, broken for you, which, as a result of your betrayal, will be nailed to the cross).

"Nice robe, Peter." (Do you realize that you'll shed it in a few hours, running away from me?)

"Hey, John, looking a little bit peeked tonight! Trek into town today did you in, huh?" (Don't you know that I need you to intercede with me tonight? Don't you know that I will be at my loneliest, and you will fall asleep on me!?)

These would be my comments. Trite. Biting. Painful. Intended to point out their upcoming betrayal before it could happen. But these are not Jesus' comments... Instead, he says:

This is my body given for you... [you is plural here, it is not exclusive to the "good ones"]
This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. [I do this willingly]

It is striking to me that Jesus sits with his betrayers, and does not accuse. He does not give them the silent treatment. But he proffers himself to those, who only hours later, will betray him.

And I am tempted to think that I am different or unique, but the truth of the matter is, in the same way that he offered himself to his betrayers centuries ago, he also offers himself to me, who also betrays him daily. He offers freely. He offers willingly. He offers without reservation. And he offers regardless of the fact that I will betray him. His death, his sacrifice, for my betrayal.

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

* Maundy, for those curious, comes from the Latin, Mandatum, meaning "commandment" referring to Jesus' last commandment before he died. We celebrate the last supper on Maundy Thursday, as a way of remembering what Jesus did, remembering the cost, remembering our own brokenness and sin, remembering Jesus' promise of the new covenant in his blood, to be fulfilled only days later.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Ouch. It's so much easier to preempt betrayal by creating a shell and attacking first, or pretending others don't have the power to hurt me.

This was a much-needed reminder for me of the difference between mercy and grace, grudging forgiveness and God's love.

Thanks, et je t'aime beaucoup.