Lessons from the wreckage

Sometimes things don't go the way we plan...

It all began as a simple trip to Ikea...
I picked up a super-flowered comforter...
slightly more frou-frou than I typically like...
Success!

And then, in an instant, colored by abruptly flashing red tail-lights,
squealing tires and the sickening crunch of glass and metal,
all things came to a screeching halt. Literally and figuratively.

The full story is not necessarily important, suffice to say, everyone is okay, no injuries, but the cars were, in the words of the police man, "uniquely redesigned." Shall we say that my compact car became "more compact"? It's trying to morph into its inner hot-rod...

But in those few earth-shattering moments, I think I realized a few things:

• When life turns into chaos, all you can think about is the small details like what speed you were going, what the name of the tunnel was, a random thought you'd had earlier in the day, the name of the policeman, your now-certain-to-be-failed car inspection.
• At the same time, you realize how completely unimportant those details are... but it's all you can think about.
  
• Sometimes our split second impulses are surprising (who you call, how you react, what your immediate thought is, your ability to stay calm in the moment, etc)...
• Often times our disasters feel like other people's spectacles and that is not a good feeling
• There are so many things to be grateful for... and the little things that seemed so significant earlier in the day, are now minute in comparison...

Earlier in the day, I had texted my sister, after my leaving my routine doctors appointment. Any time I go to the doctor, we have to go through family medical history, which is long and contains many diseases, maladies and quirks, things that make my super bouncy doctor frown and furrow her brow. I had jokingly texted my sister earlier in the day, "You know, after repeating our family medical history, at times, I'm really surprised that I'm still alive!"

Now, at the end of the day, all I can say is... yes, on two accounts now, life is a gift, not an expectation. And I am very glad to be alive. May that gratitude continue, even after the shock of the accident becomes ancient history...

Don't get me wrong... this is not, in the cliche phrase, an entreaty to "live every moment as if it were your last." That's ridiculous. Then you always live in light of the pending end, rather than in gratitude for the life that you have now. It is, rather, an entreaty to be grateful for the fact that you're alive. And to live life in that gratitude. At the end of the day, the acne, the stressful details of work, the cable not working, the traffic delay, the mice running through your apartment fat-fed on the peanut butter from your non-working traps... at the end of the day, those are details which fall mundane and to the side. At the end of the day, it's good to be alive.

May that gratitude continue, even after the shock of the accident becomes ancient history...