Father's Day

I went into CVS the other day, to look for a Father's day card for my dad, which is always interesting. Hallmark cards these days, man. Ridiculous. But what was striking to me this time was the categories into which the cards were broken down, within the "dad" section...

"great dad"
"supportive dad"
"good dad"
"any kind of dad"
"mom's significant-other"
"mom who was strong in dad's absence"
"like a father to me"

This morning my facebook news feed wished me happy Father's Day in many different languages through the words of friends who are profoundly grateful for their fathers, their children's fathers, etc. And it made me smile. I am grateful for my father, and I am delighted that so many friends have extraordinary fathers for whom they are, and should be, profoundly grateful! :)

But, on this day, reminded by Hallmark, I am also deeply aware that there are many, with many different reasons, for whom Father's Day is not a happy celebration... for whom the idea of father brings painful, not joyful, memories, images and thoughts. As my dear friend Alex* pointed out, we are hard wired for good family relationships and, centrally in that, relationship with a good father, of whom God is the original. But, for many of us, that has not been or is not our experience. And so, Father's Day is a complicated, if not grievous, occasion.

And so this Father's Day, I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that fact. It's OK if it's hard. And whether today is hard because your relationship with your dad is strained to non-existent, or because he's no longer present, or never was, because he was your hero and is gone, or because you still bear the wounds of his failures, because you miss him, or because you wish that he'd go away, whatever the reason might be... it's OK for today to be hard.

See I think Father's Day reflects well the fact that we are were created for good family relationships... and within that, we were wired for good relationship with our earthly fathers, who are intended to be a reflection of the character of our good Father in heaven. And when those relationships are absent, or broken, or bent, it reflects a part of life that is not as intended.

So in a strange way, I actually want to encourage you to celebrate today, even if that means allowing yourself to mourn, that Father's Day is hard because even that mourning reflects the fact that you were created for and long for good, whole, and holy relationship with a good Father. And that's a holy longing, which is fulfilled, and satisfied in relationship with your perfect Father. That ache you feel is a longing for things to be as they were intended, and if it leads you to press deeper into trust of your heavenly Father and hope for and anticipation of all things made new when Jesus comes again, it is a holy thing.

So, whatever your circumstance today, I think Father's Day is or can be a celebration for you. Whether it's celebration of the good gift that your earthly father is or was, or a longing and hunger for consummation of all things made new and the restoration of things as they should be, it is a day to celebrate. Either in anticipation or in realization.

So Happy Father's Day, to one and all! May it be a day of complete celebration one day soon!

* Alex also has several other excellent posts on God as Father, found here, here, and here.