Confrontation and Confession, part II

So, let’s delve into this a bit deeper…the word confrontation stems from the Latin for “foreheads together” literally meaning to turn and face head on.

When we talk about admitting that we’re wrong, the word we use is “confession” which also stems from the Latin, meaning “together to admit.” Interestingly enough, both of these are things which necessitate community or togetherness.

So confronting and confessing sin, merely means to turn and face our sins and admit that they are sin, together.

So, in one sense, confrontation and confession are incredibly practical things, right? They make sense… we kind of know what they are! Yet, how do they fit in with forgiveness? And why are they necessary to do??

I did a lot of childcare during college, and I remember one particular instance when I was sitting for a family with three sons… we were fixing dinner or something like that, and the three year old walked up behind me, smiling, non-aggressively, and then, in a split second, took a bite out of my hindquarters. And then, still smiling, backed away, sweetly smiled and said “I’m sorry….” Really, I do not think he was sorry at all… but he knew that that was the “right” way to smooth things over…

Unfortunately, many times now as adults, we handle conflicts in much the same way… we shove the truth under the rug and try to smooth things over… never confronting that what was wrong was wrong. And we are unwilling to admit when we’re wrong. We think that if we pretend, then the sin or junk which is clogging our friendships will just disappear…

You know this scenario… maybe you and your roommate haven’t spoken in weeks, because your roommate hasn’t picked up her clothes in three months… or maybe you haven’t picked up your clothes in three months… but neither one of you wants to address it.

… a friend said or did something that was really hurtful to you… but you didn’t say anything, because you didn’t want to rock the boat, and now it really will take global warming to melt those icecaps on the relationship… but since you’re only talking about the weather, it’s totally fine.

… or maybe it was you… you broke trust, you said something hurtful, you did not do what you said you would do… but instead of owning your junk, you’re just avoiding the other person.

But, how do we ask for forgiveness, if we cannot admit that there is something wrong? How can we forgive, unless we are likewise, admitting that there is broken relationship involved?

Here’s the truth: Sin is not like graham cracker crumbs! It does not stay under the carpet! It’s not like “cleaning your room” by pushing your junk under your bed… Unless we are willing to deal with the fact that there IS junk, we cannot really offer forgiveness or be a real community.

So the question for you and me is… are we willing to turn and face our sin, or call others to face their sin, and confess it together… or will we continue sweeping crumbs under the carpet, hiding boxes in our closets, and shedding relationships along the way?