Confrontation and Confession, part III

So, if we look to the Old Testament, we find a guy who likewise struggled with confronting and confessing his own sin...

David was the second king of Israel… He is a warrior king, and he’s just spent a good deal of time in battle, and has been honored for that. He is a hero of Israel, but here we find him not entirely at his best…

2 Samuel 11-12:13

1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

David is not where he is supposed to be! He is staying home, while his army is off fighting!

2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant."

David knows before he sleeps with her that she is married, and not only married, but married to a specific member of his army, who is fighting for him, while he remains at home. Now, David has an uh-oh moment… he’s messed up, husband is away at war, mama is pregnant, there’s no way to hide it, and he knows it! He sees his sin, but does not want to confront it. So, like many of us, he tries to hide it… tries to hide it three times!!

See, David’s thought here is… if Uriah sleeps with Bathsheba, then perhaps he will believe that the child is his… and my sin will be hidden, covered, and effectively gone. So he calls Uriah home from the battlefield... But Uriah does not comply with David’s desires… In fact, Uriah won’t comply with David’s wishes because he says “why would I do that, when my men are out fighting?” In other words, he says no, for the very reason that David is in this mess to begin with… So David tries again. And when that fails, David has Uriah killed. And at this point, he succeeds... 2 Samuel 11:26-27 tells us:

26 When Uriah's wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD.

Like many of us, David thinks that he has gotten away with his little fling, little sin, little mistake. He has effectively hidden from his sin. But God has not missed it! The same is true for us… even when we think we hide our sins well, God does not miss them.

Sin does not go away when we hide from it or hide it.

Instead, often God sends people into our lives to confront us in our sin. Or, he sends us into the lives of those around us, to call them out in their sins…

Enter Nathan, Prophet Extraordinaire.

Nathan does not cut corners, or try and minimize David’s sin. He lays it out, completely, honestly, and in a very straightforward manner. He doesn’t hint, he doesn’t play around, he just confronts the wrong.

I love the story of David and Nathan because it paints a beautiful picture of confrontation and confession of sin… but it also lays out some great principles for loving confrontation:

First, Nathan is following the Holy Spirit. He goes because God sends him. You and I both know that gentle nudging which says “you should really talk to her”… “maybe you should bring that up in small group”… “maybe avoiding him isn’t the best way to deal with this situation…”

Second, Nathan creates a moment… some of us are tempted to wait for the opportune time, and there are definitely times for that, but Nathan creates a scenario (his tale of the rich and the poor man) in which he can lovingly confront David on the issues at hand, by speaking his language, and communicating in a way that was non-threatening.

Third, Nathan speaks the truth in a way that is straightforward and honest. He has his facts straight, but he doesn’t mince or soft peddle the issues. He directly confronts. But he does so in humility, and with kindness.

Finally, Nathan has clout to say what he does. He’s God’s prophet, sent to David, and has had interactions with David over the past few years. He has credibility.