Simple observation of the day:
Women need a version of the fist-bump or chest bump (and of course, the double pat on the back).
Life really is duplicitous. and by that I mean vulpine. devious. slippery. and tricky.
[do you like how I'm attempting to use big words, only half correctly, just to honor/irritate my sister the English major?]
Case in point, if you're meeting someone for the first time, you shake their hand. If you know them really well, you give them a hug (unless you're from the UK or the northeast, and then protocol is slightly different). This is true regardless of gender, on either side.
However, should you intrepidly find yourself in the situation of "casual-but-not-deep" friendship/acquaintance, as a woman, you're in deep trouble. You know the relationships I'm talking about: the facebook poke-er, the gchat friend, that older co-worker (often of the opposite gender) with whom you have deep conversations but no shared experiences, your landlord who you repeatedly phone about fire alarms but really don't have a relationship with, your next-door neighbors that you don't really know, or your sister's boyfriend's sister-in-law. Whereas for the man, a simple fist-bump will suffice, a woman is left with no such options. Potential alternatives are:
- go for the hug and then awkwardly abort at the last moment, if it appears the other party is not going to reciprocate
- awkwardly shake hands, which feels far too formal for a borderline-almost friendship
- do the nod (Tilt chin up rapidly at a 45 degree angle. Beware of neck strain-age.) It's more effective when you can appropriately throw in a "w'assup?"
- just smile and nod and stand a good 5 feet away from them
- go for the hug and don't abort, no matter how awkward it is
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2 comments:
Best yet: the COMBO move!
Shake hands with your right hand and use your left hand over the other person's shoulder to draw them in closer.
:-P
i'm 8 months late, but it's a timeless question... i find that the gentle upper-arm squeeze (a little more intimate and less awkward than the pat, simultaneously non-invasive and affirming) works wonderfully in these kinds of situations.
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