Unleashing desire

As a part of my spiritual formation journey for this coming semester, I've been reading a book called "Invitation to Solitude and Silence" by Ruth Haley Barton, which I would highly recommend. I thought I would share a snippet from my reading this morning, that really struck me:

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... desire is what stirs underneath our fear... many of us are not very good at acknowledging our desire. As Christians we tend to be skeptical and suspicious of desire, for it is not easily controlled; experience tells us that desire can be like a quiet little campfire that sparks a forest fire engulfing the whole forest. What if I let myself feel my desire and it gets out of control? What if I begin to desire things I can't have? How do I live with the pain of unfulfilled desire?

But the truth is that desire is the life-blood surging through the heart of the spiritual life. You may not realize it, but your desire for God is the truest and most essential thing about you. It is truer than your sin, it is truer than your woundedness, it is truer that your net worth, your marital status or any role or responsibility that you hold...

... when we cut ourselves off from awareness of our desire, we cut ourselves off from the very invitation of God into the intimacy we seek. And so desire, the very human dynamic that often confuses us and muddles our thinking is part of what we carry with us as we walk through the gateway to solitude. If we don't know how to attend to it, we may make the mistake of trying to set it aside or minimize it when instead we need to pay attention to it.

... when we pull back the curtain on our fears and resistance, we are left with our desire-- pure, naked, quivering desire-- which is the surest guide for the spiritual quest. In the end, the human soul will choose what it most wants. If we are brave enough to stay with this experience of wanting something we do not yet have, we discover that underneath all other desire is a desire for God, for love, for the true belonging.

"Invitation to Solitude and Silence" Ruth Haley Barton, excerpts p. 50-52
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For me, it was actually really helpful to journal through: "OK, what do I desire? The good, the holy, the bent, the deep?" To be honest before God... scary, but good.