Grown-Up

Today, as I was walking down to the river, I passed a father with his two young daughters, each tugging at a hand and chattering oh so exuberantly about this and that... nothing important, but to look at the father, you would have thought that he was listening not to the aimless chatter of young children but to the most scintillating and captivating of all performances or speeches.

Among other topics, the two small ones were discussing being grown-up versus being a little girl. One was of the opinion that being small was the way to go (she was the smaller one); the other ardently claimed that she was advantaged in being "all grown-up" (she was the older one at a ripe old age of six).

Their childish banter and gleeful delight gave me pause, and made me stop and consider this idea of being "grown-up." It's such a silly phrase: "grown-up." What does that even mean? Certainly it does not refer to reaching maximum height capacity, as an indicator of completeness... if that is the case, then I am sorry to say, I think maturity might need to be redefined.

Yet, even as I pondered these thoughts, I was struck by another thought: I can barely remember a time when I did not consider myself "grown-up" and "mature." For as long as I can remember, I have acted as a small adult. Even now, I see out my window a small child, hopping around for no apparent reason, simply because it is delightful to her. I long for those days, but they are foreign to me. Surely this is not what it means to be mature. Surely there is more to maturity than putting off or losing childlike delight and freedom and becoming "sensible" and "realistic" and "businesslike." This is a "maturity" that often is stuffy, and certainly lacks joy and freedom.

Yet in converse, as I watch and interact with 20 somethings who act as though they had no cares in the world, resisting adult responsibility, depending on others to sustain them, and avoiding anything not fun--childlike freedom, if you will-- my gut reaction tells me that they do not understand maturity any more deeply than the rest of us. This is a "maturity" that lacks an understanding of purpose or meaning beyond self gratification and satisfaction; it is shallow in nature.

See, I don't think maturity, or being grown up, is about losing childlike freedom or delight. Nor do I think that it is falsely clinging to childish ways. And decidedly, it is not about arriving at the pinnacle of maximum height capacity... otherwise, you would presume that professional athletes would act decidedly more responsibly!

So what does it mean, to be mature or "grown-up"?

Here's my alternative thought: what if being mature had less to do with gaining or losing something (stuffiness/responsibility/childishness/freedoms et al), and more to do with coming into fullness? In that sense, maturity, or being grown-up has less to do with leaving behind childish ways, and more to do with coming into the fullness of who you were created to be- with the fullness of childlike delight and freedom, full participants in the work of the Kingdom, the fullness of your gifts and calling seen and lived into, yourself fully known, and your purpose and role fully identified.

Under this definition, none us is ever fully mature or "grown-up." We're never done growing, changing, or coming fully into our created identity, until we are made full and whole in consummate relationship with our Creator, which we long for with all of our being. And with each passing year, we will certainly understand how little we understand more fully.

But I would argue that this is actually a maturity that has some meat on it, some life in it, and some worth in pursuing it. This is a maturity that is lifelong, holistic, purposeful, and life-giving.

In that sense, perhaps being "grown-up" or "mature" is something to be longed for...