Silent Disco

Picture the scene with me: a club full of people, moving and gyrating to music, tapping and spinning to a beat, hot and sweaty, multicolored lights flashing, more bodies than befits the space... typical club. Except for the fact that no music is audible. Every club go-er is outfitted with a pair of wireless headphones, and they and only they can hear the music.

Each one dancing to their own beat. Together, yet not. In the same place, all dancing, yet isolated from one another. How awkward if your dancing buddy is swinging to Celine Dion while you're rocking out to some Black Eyed Peas.

The scene that I am describing is a semi-recent and growing phenomena known as the silent disco. It's more popular in the UK/Europe than in the US, but still present in both.

As I have been thinking about popular culture, specifically within the college and young adult demographic, this image has repeatedly stuck in my mind, and I think it is a somewhat apt descriptor of trends that I see more often than not.

This generation is exceedingly communal. They hunger to be in the same place with others, and are always looking for groups of common interest or a sense of belonging. They gravitate towards "connections" with others, be that through social networking sites, common interest groups, advocacy groups, or even the rise of mobile communications devices. We are a generation of connectors: we want to belong, we want to be in the know, and we do not want to be "loners." See for example: Facebook, Twitter, the blogosphere, texting, websites relating awkward and embarrassing (yet humorous) personal stories, and the party culture on college campuses.

Yet at the same time, there is a degree to which, even in that "together" culture, we want to do so on our terms. We retain the right to choose how much information we share, where and when (c.f. facebook privacy settings and the invisible option for gchat). We select when we want to be "networked in" and when we want to be "invisible." And we seemingly want a "no-strings-attached" sense of relationships. The hook-up, one night stands, and casual sexual encounter culture are prime examples. Or I can "sext" you when I want you, or even just sign into a social networking site like Chat Roulette for a few hours, if I want a seriously string-free "connection." On a platonic level, let's talk about all the facebook friends that we have, but don't really actually talk to or stay in contact with. We want the connections, but we want it on our own terms, to our own tune, to fit with our schedule and our lives.

Silent disco. Together, yet not. Everyone dancing, together, yet each to his own beat on his own ipod. Able to maintain complete individuality, in the context of presumed communality.

I do not mean to appear cynical... I think there are a lot of positives to the culture of this generation. But I think there are also dangers... see in this culture, I think we settle for a placebo of being known. Of belonging. And my contention is that ultimately that is not satisfying. Which is why, above and beyond all else, the deepest hunger of this generation is still to belong. To be known.

We were made to share life together, in a way that community has the ability to shape and refine, to influence and impact the ways in which we live. And vice versa, us to our community. But we cannot seek that without also being willing to open ourselves up to the inconvenience and authenticity of really being known. And knowing others. People are messy. You are messy. I am messy. Community is messy.

But the beauty of real community is that we dance this messy dance together, learning together, laughing with one another as we look ridiculously off beat, but learning from one another's mistakes, talents, gifts, and experiences, and maybe just maybe, having a little bit more real and honest fun because we're dancing together.