likes me... likes me not...

Last night, a few friends and I were hanging out at a pub near my house... we were catching up, reflecting back on college years, and laughing about some of the random antics that we had performed "when we were younger." At one point, we were talking about a particular friend, who shall remain nameless... Good friend, really great guy (well-beloved), but classically "scientist" with all the implications therein. For example:

... at one point, he crystallized pure caffeine from coffee just for fun.

... another time (or should I say, multiple times), he lit random objects on fire (or blew them up) through a series of chemical reactions. Often times, in the dorm room.

... at another point in time, his RA was concerned that he was growing illegal substances in his room, because he had a water garden under his bed, typically only used in a college setting to grow one thing. He, however, was growing herbs and plants for botany experiments.

... and the list can go on and on, but I'll stop there. Bottom line, my friend is unashamedly exactly who he is, and that does not change based on people's opinions, favor, or approval. And I love that about him!

As we were giggling over these stories and others, I was struck again by the idea that:

"It is far better to be disliked for who you truly are than it is to be loved for something that you aren't."

Confession? I am a repenting people pleaser, at core. And for many years, I would play the game of trying to be exactly who people wanted me to be in a given situation. Intrinsic in that was the fear "If they really knew me, they wouldn't like me..." As a result, I wound up playing a lot of different roles, wearing a lot of different hats, and in the process, lost a sense of who I really was. Not healthy, because ultimately it places a lot of authority in the hands of those whose favor we (I) seek. When, in reality, the only one who has real authority has already said of us:

"I created your inmost being; I knit you together in your mother's womb. Praise ME! because you are fearfully and wonderfully made; my works are wonderful!" (paraphrase Ps. 139:14)

He didn't make me to be like Micah or Billy-Bob or Susie or LuAnna or Melchizedek. He made me to be Kristen. And he said that that was good. All the time, not just when it's convenient or popular.

Don't get me wrong, there are places in which adaptation can be good and holy. Certainly, there are situations in which we need to soften certain characteristics in order to care well for those around us. And there are definitely places for repentance and change in our identities and, often times, good friends are the ones to call those out for us. But that is entirely different from shape-shifting, or trying to make people like us by transmogrification of ourselves... ultimately, role playing should be left on the stage.

"It is far better to be disliked for who you truly are than it is to be loved for something that you aren't."

[I'm still workin' on it.]